A lot goes on in my mind these days. The days are above all very emotional in numerous ways. I have come to see these emotions as an invitation to write. First of all to myself, but I have this website and some people subscribed to it, so why not share my stories with them? Once I will be on my way I’ll write a bit more about the adventure itself. Feel free to tell me what you would like to read about during the trip!
As departure draws closer, more and more questions start to arise. The most demanding of them all is the question; Who am I? Leaving all that if have behind, leaves me only myself to take. I can take many of you with me in the heart and the mind, but in the end there is just me. Just me to keep me going when times are tough. Just me to share in the joys and just me who will remember the rest of my life.
For long I thought that my identity was constructed by who I spend time with. Those people reflect my actions and give me an opportunity to reflect something back. I thought that that reflective behavior was me. The same goes for the country I live in. It defines who I am. But now that I start to slowly pull away from my dearest friends and family, I notice something familiar stays with me. I still remain. So there must be more to me than just the one who is interacting with others or reflecting from a cultural background. This ‘I’ is to be known by inner reflection from now on. Others are no longer able to make me define myself. As one person moves away, another comes in. This meeting of another makes me a different person, because I have to reflect myself different. But when people start to come and go faster than I can change myself, as will happen along the way, this way of identifying myself in reflection to others will start to fade away. There’s only one constant factor in me and that is me. It is only from knowing that, that I will really be able to interact with others. Of course, in each encounter with someone else do I reflect some part of myself. But these short interactions will not be as defining as spending years with someone.
Only from knowing oneself can one know another. How cliché it may sound, at the moment it feels true to me. I really wish for everyone to be able to be alone and be content with it. Only those who are happy with themselves can provide true happiness for others. It is my wish to be truly happy by (and with) myself. This is hard when surrounded by people I love. I hope it will get easier as I move away from all that I know.
The definite date for departure is set on July 3th, which is Thursday (check my schedule here). This is an open invitation for all those who would like to join me on my first km’s. I expect to be at the Duivelsberg at 9:30am. If you feel like joining me, please let me know by e-mail or phone.