The last couple of weeks I got used to my freedom more and more. The only things I really had to think about were the direction I needed to walk, the possibility of getting food and water and a place to sleep, all against the background of my budget, but still. The trouble of the world seemed far away, in fact I didn’t even really know what was going on in the world around me. It was just me and the road. This feeling changed the last days.
My dad was so kind to scan and e-mail me a letter which kindly told me to pay back some tax. I totally forgot even the existence of this kind of forced payment. This brought me back in the life I used to live, and so many people live every day. Then I watched the news on the internet. The ongoing war in Syria and Iraq touched me deeply. People are getting slaughtered, forced to take religious beliefs or on the run. Although I know what it is to walk all day and not to have a home, I cannot imagine what life’s like if you live in constant fear. I find joy in not knowing where to sleep, eat or drink. I chose for this and I have the freedom to return to a home and live a life of ignorance and carelessness. The people over there have nothing to return to and no real prospect of living in freedom. I do not know any solution for these kinds of problems, other than praying that people will, at some day, realise we are all one and should live in harmony. But forcing this thought upon anyone is counter effective I think.
The last two days I spend in Linz with a wonderful, just married couple. I was welcomed in their (still to be furnished) house and we spend some good hours together. The next morning I would walk along. But once my hosts took the tramway home, I knew I should have stayed longer. The problem with me is, I’m better at goodbye’s than at hello’s. I didn’t really dare to ask to stay longer. Was I a guest or a friend? I had this same feeling when I left my host in Bonn, and still regeret the fact that I did not act upon it. I liked these people too much to leave after just one night, and if I didn’t go back now, I would ever regret it. So after 30 minutes of finding the courage to call and coming back on my decision to walk, I took the tram (7km already) back to them. We went out and build some sweet memories, I will never forget these days. When I left yesterday, I knew I left as a friend and not only as a guest.
But being in Linz also showed me the other side of life. When I left on Sunday morning, then tram was full of depressed looking people, drunk people, refugees and cripple. The walking through the woods, enjoying sunrises early in the morning, spending time only with people I like are just one part of life. But I do not want to close my eyes for the other, harder, more difficult part of life, which so many people are forced to live. I have to try my best not to feel guilty for the way I live now. I wish everyone could live like this and enjoy the real beauty of life. My prayer tonight is for all those people. That they may find happiness in their lives, that they do not have to fight for their existence and freedom, that they can sleep well at least one night and that they do not have to live in the fear of loosing their loved ones due to some stupid political or religious ideas. Will you pray with me, and talk to the lone and lost ones, even if its just once? We don’t have to wait ’till Christmas.