I have not walked for almost two weeks now. Days strung together in a peaceful blurr with just reading, writing, eating, drinking and padding a cat. I left my lovely residence at the lake to travel by train to the big city, Budapest. Its been long since I arrived somewhere by train and it feld weird not to be able to reproduce the exact way I came. The walking might be some time ago, but it is not forgotten. I am glad to, since the walking and caring for a place to sleep seems almost as if never happened. But now in Budapest, as I tell my friends all about it, things start to get back to me.
Arriving here I had a insight I’d like to share with you. I have had so many encounters on my trip which were so profound. It feels like I am just always at the right place at the right time. These meetings impact me as much as they impact the people I meet. I am inspired by these encounters as well. In these meetings I’ve heard often that there is something special in me. Hearing this I’m starting to feel special. It would not be the first time someone called me Jesus, Moses or and angel. I feel unique, saint like, something like that. I feel more than other people, because I hear this so often.
When I sat at the riverbank the other day, overlooking the Pest side of Budapest, I thought about the stories Anouk would tell me about her meetings with people when she travelled alone to Turkey. She was so impacted by these meetings, found them so profound and ‘meant to be’ as well. I suddenly understood how difficult it must have been for her to give these encounters, and the words spoken in them, a place. Especially because they were so hard to combine with the life she was living with me. But it also made me feel a bit less special. The words spoken to me could have been spoken to her as well. When we were togehter, we were told how good and happy we looked every now and then by strangers. Even when we already broke up, (or were on the brink of it, I do not recall exactly) a woman in the supermarket would tell us we looked like such a happy couple. So I thought, looking at the city in which we have some shared memories, maybe its just me and Anouk being special.
But we broke up. Our togetherness was not meant to last. I’m still special for some strangers, and I’m sure she is as well, since these things happen to lone travellers. So, I suddenly felt I wasn’t so special anymore. These things are being said to everyone at some moment or another. But instead of devaluating my own self worth, I found it a profound insight that every one of us is sometimes inspiring to others. That everyone is a Jesus to someone else once. In this we are all the same, all divine if you would call it like this. So instead of feeling special by myself, I suddenly realised everyone is special. All of us have our moments of doubt, and all of us have our moments to shine. I started laughing. The homeless man next to me looked at me and started to laugh as well. We looked at each other and we saw.
How am I doing physically? In the morning my feet still hurt, when walking a couple of hours they start to annoy me. When walking with backpack, they will not last me a day I fear. Tuesday I hope to be on my way again, on foot. If they fail to carry me, I’ll find a bike. The want to travel on and continuing this adventure outweights the idea of going on foot in two times.