There’s a wonderful bliss in having no job. Now that time is passing by and I am still forced to hold up my hand, I start to think about life. The gap between what I want and what live gives me as an opportunity starts to widen by the day. Waking up with not much to do except searching the internet and applying for jobs which I do not really want most of the time. Only to be rejected a couple of days later. The situation I find myself in now reminds me of three problems during my trip, and the solutions I found.
The problem; things are not going as I want them to go at this point. Really simple actually.
First solution; pushing through. Sometimes I was really struggling with the walking itself. My feet would hurt, it would rain, and I would be unable to find a shop or to get food and water. In these moments there was nothing I could do but keep my eyes on the goal and hope for the best. I would imagine myself walking (later biking) onto the Taksim Square in Istanbul. I tried to feel how I would feel, think what I would think. I would just sit down with my eyes closed and picture this for a while. It enabled me to look past the agony I was going through and knew that there was purpose in continuing, despite everything. This greatly helped me pushing through.
Second solution; changing tactics. It also reminds me of buying my bike. Walking was no option anymore. I just could not do it anymore. But I had my goal firm in mind and knew that above all, I wanted to reach this place in Istanbul to deal with feelings and memories of the past. A change of tactics was needed. The decision was a though one. But nonetheless, you all know the ending of the story.
Third solution; picking a different goal. There were a number of moments during my trip on which I rethought the end goal of my trip. There were numerous crossroads on my way to Istanbul and apart from the goal I set myself, I was free to go whatever way I wanted to go. I decided to take different routes from those I intended to take. I decided to leave the Danube and make my way through Hungary, one of the best decisions of my trip I feel. Never did I change the goal though, but I could.
The situation which I am now feels a bit similar. Things are not going as expected right now. And as I see it, I have these three different options to deal with this situation. I am greatly in favor of trying them in exactly this order. There is but one other problem… What goal am I going after? Now here, this is not so clear to me as it was back then. It comes to the questions; What do I want, and who am I? Asking these questions is one of the most useful things one can do while living. But asking them does not keep one alive.